Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find.

Since I got home from El Salvador, I have found myself slipping into a state of depression. I miss the country, the food, the culture, and most of all, my friends and family that I made while I was there. I have been praying a lot lately asking why God called me to come home, and why he was allowing me to feel this way if this was where He called me. His answer:
“Trust me.”
‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’ - Jeremiah 29: 11-13

Not exactly the answer I was looking for.. But I prayed and sought after Him with everything I had, everyday, and guess what happened…

God answered both my questions in one day.

The reason God called me to go home is the same reason I was called to El Salvador. To reach out to people, to show them God’s unconditional love, and to tell them about what HE did in my life.

I was at youth on tuesday, and some kids in the grade 7 group I co-lead told me that they went to a party on the weekend.. So I poked into it a little more and asked them what they did there...
They were telling the other kids at the party about God. They were being a light in a dark place. They were telling their non-Christian friends what Kevin and I had taught them in our small group.
God has me here so I can make an impact on the people I interact with. So I can tell my story and encourage others to go out and do the same. I am so proud of these kids.

But that still doesn’t answer why I was so depressed.
But do you want to know something?
God knew I would feel like that. He created me to feel that way. He wasn’t going to take that feeling of depression away, but He wasn't going to leave me alone in my suffering either.

God blessed me with some incredible friends. Friends who are there for me every step of the way. Friends who always manage to make me smile and laugh and think about the positive side of things. Whether it is a simple hug, taking me out for lunch, or even listening to what I have to say. They are there for me and they care about me.

I was driving home from youth, wondering why so many of my friends have been randomly encouraging me, and just showing me how much they love me. At first I thought it might have been because I was gone for 6 months and maybe they missed me..? But I have been home for over a month, and it has just increased.
I realized as I was cruising through Port Dalhousie that this is God showing that He cares for me. Putting people in my life for me to lean on during my time of struggle. People to encourage me. To pick me up when I fall down.
I thank God everyday for the blessing of so many good friends who support and love me!
Thank you!!! I love you all!

I will go where You lead me

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer
Matthew 21:22

As my time comes to an end in El Salvador, I started praying and asking God where he wanted me to go. I had applied to college but I wasn’t supposed to find out until middle of march. I didn’t know whether to go to college in September, or come back to El Salvador for another 6 months…
Last night, my heart felt very heavy. I am so sad to leave this place. I prayed and asked God to give me a clear answer whether he wanted me to go to school or come back to El Salvador next fall.
When I woke up this morning, God told me what He wanted me to do. I got my acceptance for school online. Clearly He wants me back home…
It is hard for me to think about that. I have made so many friends here and people I now consider family. I want to come back to El Salvador so bad, but if God wants me at home, He knows best. He will take care of everything. He will bring another person down next year to fill my spot.
There is a reason He is leading me to Mohawk. I feel like God is calling me there right now because I can be a light in dark places.
I feel almost as if El Salvador was a stepping stone in my faith. It was one of the first big steps in my relationship with God. I feel comfortable sharing my faith. I feel more comfortable talking to people about God. I don’t feel as scared anymore..

Matthew 21:22 is pretty much the theme of my trip. I have learned to believe. I believe that God can do anything. He will provide every need for me.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:26

God provides for the birds. He will provide for me.

FAITH

We live by faith, not by sight
2 Corinthians 5:7

I feel that God has been teaching me, not only these last 6 months, but all of 2011, to step out in faith and trust in Him.
Here's a recent story;

On sunday (Feb. 12), Pastor Oscar asked the congregation to give $5 to go towards the new renovations in the church. I looked in my wallet and found a 5 dollar bill. But that had to last me another week. I wanted to put my wallet away and save that money, but God had other plans. He told me to give it anyways and trust in Him, so I did. The rest of the week, the Canadian team payed for anything I needed. Snacks, drinks, and even a surf board rental and lessen! But thats not all... The next sunday (Feb. 19), when the team was leaving, a couple of them walked up to me and said they wanted to talk to me. They told me that they were pleased with my driving and happy for my help these last 2 weeks and they wanted to give me something... A gift from God. They told me that they made this decision as a team, and they gave me 100 dollars...
I gave 5 bucks to God, and he gave me 100 back. God provides.
Matthew 6:25-34 - read it.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘go throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:21-22

Man up!

I feel like God has been trying to teach me to “man up”. To be bold in who I am in Christ. To stand up for what I believe in.
In the past, I never belittled my faith, but when someone attacked it, I never stood up for what I believed. I would take the hit and walk away. Im not saying that I am looking to fight or debate someone about my beliefs now, I just want people to know I wont back down. I wont be pushed over as easily as I used to be. I will stand up for what I believe. I will stand up for my faith. It is my prayer that God will give me the courage and the boldness to “man up”. To not be afraid of anyone, but to let them know what I believe and why I believe it.
Paul wrote this letter to Titus;

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
Titus 2:6-8

Goat farm!

So Trent, Stu and their families have included me in their new project. They are starting goat farms. One in San Antonio, and one in Via Victoria. 

Heres some background info about the goats and what they provide to the families:

The guys have noticed that the families here are not getting enough dairy in their diets, and so they thought they would get some goats to fix the problem. These goats provide more than just milk for the families though. They give the families a job, an income, and a healthier diet. If a family has a goat, they can sell the milk, drink it themselves, or feed it to their babies (mothers here often dont have enough milk for their babies). 

That being said, there will be up to 10 families running these goat farms, breeding, feeding, and milking the goats. These families will be trained to take care of these goats. They will know how to help bring the baby goats into the world, give them vaccinations, and treat them when they are sick. They will be able to sell milk and the goats to local people, which will provide a steady income for these 10 families. 

I will be using some of the money I raised before coming down here to get a goat farm started in Via Victoria. The money will go towards buying materials for a shelter on the farm, paying rent for the land we use, and to buy some goats to get started.

I will get pictures up when the farm gets set up!

Thanks for all the prayers and support! :)

Courageous

I was given the new Casting Crowns CD at Christmas before I came back here. The first track really stood out to me. It was called Courageous. Here are some lyrics:

We were made to be courageous, we were made to lead the way. We could be the generation that finally breaks the chains.
Where are you men of courage? You were made for so much more.  Let the pounding of our hearts cry, we will serve the Lord.

It made me think, where is my courage coming from? I am living in a house on my own, having to take care of myself for the first time in my life.. I am driving between 10 and 20 people around the cities and villages in the back of a pick-up truck, and I am with the teams 7 days a week for about 14 hours a day. Normally, all that would freak me out, and I probably would have wanted to stay home. But I know that God gave me the courage to take on this responsibility and He will help me through it.
I know these next 10 weeks are going to go by faster than the first half of my trip. I am excited to come home, but I also dont want to ever leave this place. My heart is in 2 places at once...